Monday, August 13, 2007

Since vacation, the weeks have been flying by and it seems school is inevitably drawing closer. Fall is my favorite time of the year -- the weather, the back-to-basics scheduling, getting ready for Christmas (yikes! 135 more days!).

This past weekend Michael, Brady and I went to my friend's three-year-old son's birthday party. It was held in this fabulous artsy craft store where the kids played with imagination-type toys -- kitchens and castles and blocks -- and then chose a wooden trinket to paint and bring home. For girls, there was a small jewelry-type dresser or wooden pocketbook; for boys there was a treasure chest or collection box. Michael chose the collection box and began designing his creation and painting.

Each chair at the paint table had a name plate where the guest was to sit to create. Brady had his own spot, which I smiled to myself, thinking, that they must just have them for all the kids at the party, regardless of age. Then I noticed my friend's niece skip over to her labeled chair, plop down and proceed to tell her mother what colors she wanted on her dresser she was painting. She grabbed a paint brush and stuck it right in the pink and purple, swirling it over the drawers and top. I glanced over at Brady, calmly laying back in his stroller watching the kids. It dawned on me that this little girl was a month older than Brady. Not two years, not three years... one month.

This realization made me turn my head to watch the twin girls running around so much they weren't even painting -- they were the twins in the baby seats at last year's party, also Brady's age. A little knot I wasn't expecting began to grow in my stomach... knowing and dealing with Brady being delayed is one thing - to actually see it in front of me is another. While I know my friend very well, I only see these other people at the birthday party every year and I am not aware if they know Brady has WS. I have girlfriends who have babies younger than Brady and their children are excelling right past him, but I don't notice it as much -- maybe because they are in this boat with me and I never feel the need to explain or make up for the differences. I am genuinely excited when this little one takes his first steps or that one says "momma". For some reason, these strangers put more of a heaviness in my heart. They didn't do anything or say anything; it was just all me.

I did pick up Brady and painted his fingers so he could decorate the box... he wasn't too keen on that, but after he had some of his bottle he was better. He started getting really fussy, but, relieved, I noticed it was because he was due for his nap. I finished feeding him and laid him in his stroller where he proceeded to just chill. I was able to sit and chat with my friend for quite awhile while the other parents ran after their kids, who ran around the store picking up toys and throwing them around. The little devil inside of me just smiled.

9 comments:

Every minute counts.... said...

See there are some benifits! It is nice when you do get a break while the rest of the world is still running after their kids. It must be Birthday party season..I get to go to one next weekend. I am not looking forward to it. Something about it being in your face that makes it a hard pill to swallow.

Noel

camille said...

I'm totally with you and Noel. I'm feeling so nauseous about having to go to my in-laws for christmas because I know Connor's cousin, who is 5 weeks older than him, is speaking in full sentences, is doing imaginary play, and a whole lot of other developmentally advanced things for her age. It gives me that same knot in my stomach and makes my eyes brim with tears everytime. I hope it gets easier with time but I don't know that it will. At least we all have each other though. That's one huge positive from this experience.

Our Journey..... said...

I feel your pain. It seems like when it's just my family, I forget Payton is even delayed. Then, when we are around other children her age - or even children one or two years younger I realize how far behind she is. It makes family get togethers and birthday parties really tough.

Nancy said...

The birthday party I attended this past weekend was for a little boy who is just over 2 months older than Erik, and the differences are great. One mom was actually jealous my son was lying in my lap quietly while hers was everywhere. I can see the appeal, I suppose, but it's so dang difficult to be in these shoes!

Katie said...

sigh.......
Sometimes it feels like just as you start to cope and your kids make this fantastic progress it gets thrown back in your face.
My brother asked after Jaiden the otherday and i said he stays fairly consistantly a little more than a year behind. My brother said to me "well that hardly matters when he is 29 and his friends are 27 does it?" If only..

Heather said...

Oh kerry, I wish it did get better with age. I still go through this all the time with Caleb. I think I go through stages. He is my middle kid, so I am used to seeing his little sister out-do him, but when we get out and about it's a different story. I deal with it and it doesn't bother Caleb one little bit, yet. I think before the diagnosis it was harder. Especially for my husband. we still clung to the hope that he might grow up to be fine. When we would be around another kid Caleb's age, i would call it out to Chuck and it would really hit home for him seeing the differences first hand.

Laura said...

Unfortunately, it doesn't get easier, it just changes. I am always worried about what the activities are going to be....can she do them, will she get bored or frustrated because she can't....and now, being in elementary school and going into 3rd grade, most of the parties are drop-offs or sleep-overs. Talk about anxiety, on my part, not hers!

Teresa & Shawn said...

The good and the bad. I feel your pain, Kerry. I think that's something that's always going to be hard on all us Mommies. Just remember, you always have us to be in the boat with you!

And one day, Brady will be running around and driving you insane as well!

We can't wait to see you next week!!

Lisa R said...

How bad is this I am lucky still my sisters daughter Molly is 15m and she does not walk or talk yet...Thank god Emma is 4 she would have run circles around those two when she was one, litterly LOL