Monday, December 01, 2008

Brothers


When I found out I was having Brady, I was excited for many reasons - but one of the biggest was knowing Michael would have a brother, a sibling. Even though they would be seven years apart, they would still have a connection and have a history like no friend can. I knew Brady would look up to Michael, and Michael would protect his younger brother.

And then we got the WS diagnosis when Brady was one month old. Again, I thought of Michael - was he being cheated out of a "normal" sibling relationship? It didn't seem fair, and there was nothing we could do about it. But after I read about WS, I realized Brady could still be the brother I had envisioned. Looking back now, I'm not sure what I thought would be the "right" sibling, but this was uncharted territory and I didn't know what the right answer was. So once again, my mind changed to what the "perfect" relationship would be.

However, I noticed that Brady's development was much slower than other WS kids. Even though all our WS friends were developing at different speeds, Brady was still further behind than everyone else. He wasn't crawling steadily until he was over two years old, still not walking over three. He vocalizes, but doesn't speak yet at three, either. What kind of relationship would my boys have?


Funny, if any other mother had come to me with these comments about her own sons, I could tell her that as brothers, her sons would have their own special bond, their own secret inside jokes, their own smiles for each other, regardless of ability. I could tell her that her older son would always protect her younger son, that her younger son would watch her older son constantly, waiting for the inevitable laugh. I would tell her that she would have incredible joy watching the two interact, knowing that their relationship wasn't tainted, wasn't anything different. Funny, I could tell another mother this, but until I sat right now and wrote it out, I couldn't tell myself.


I know Michael and Brady's relationship will grow and change, but I know that what I hoped would happened was achieved: the bonding of two boys that is inseparable.

6 comments:

Heather said...

You are so right, and I'm glad you can see it now! :)

Michelle said...

awww, that is so sweet. I am also glad you can see their bond now. I had very similar emotions about Aidan being ripped off in the sibling department...but now I see they are best friends (well, when they want to be) and that between them there is so much love. As an only child I have so enjoyed watching this unfold...I used to dream of having a sibling.

Nancy said...

It's easier to reassure other people for some reason. I'm glad that writing this down helped you. Did you see the WS siblings video yet? I think that would help you, too. I would recommend keeping a copy at home.

Amy said...

WOW! Great news. You have some really special kids, Kerry.
xoxo
Amy

Laura said...

It's a beautiful bond, isn't it?!
Just talking to Michael, you hear the love and pride he has for Brady. I love how he's so excited to tell of all the things Brady is accomplishing....

Julie said...

That was so sweet. It makes me think of what kind of a relationship Noah would have with Ethan if he hadn't passed away. Thank you.