Saturday, August 16, 2008

Numbers

Here is Brady with cousin Cooper and Grandma, while Cooper tells him the ways of the world.

Although Michael was an only child for so long, he never lacked for company. Besides his most fun parents LOL, a girl his same age lived next door, our friends had kids the same age when we visited, another close friend was an only child so he was with him a lot; plus as he got older three boys moved in across the street and now Michael rides his bike around the neighborhood where three more friends live. His cousin Adam, my brother-in-law's son, is only a year older than Michael and they grew up together. He sleeps over constantly and we have taken him on vacation with us. Tom and I were working on creating that bigger family, but in the meantime, Michael had many "siblings".

I have friends who also have kids around Brady's age also, but it's much different this go-around. When they were babies all was the same for our playdates. But as the kids got older and Brady stayed the same, it changed. Brady didn't enter that toddler stage when they did; he wasn't trying to waddle around and climb and play. My friends wanted to go to play areas and parks to have the kids play. Obviously, Brady did not partake in any of that activity. Knowing my friends, they didn't care and would ask me along, but it was hard sometimes to watch their child run around and play while my child, a year older sat in his carriage and watched. Not that he cared - Brady was always interested to watch but not fussy.

Over time, there were new babies born, and Brady fit in with them easily. He was one of the guys again! In fact, he was a little more advanced. What a different world! (Side note: I often joked that when people at the store asked me how old he was, I was going to star saying a year or more younger than he was so instead of them remarking how little he was they would say how advanced he was! LOL)

Well, those kids are growing up too, now. They started taking steps, eating real "people" food and playing with toys. But this time, so is Brady. I know that they will probably move through this stage more quickly than he will, but it is nice to see him play with kids his developmental "age". Even the WS kids we know in his age bracket are ahead of Brady. It seems that every year we'll need to make friends with kids who are one-year-old.

Speaking of his developmental age, Brady had his six month assessment yesterday. Yes, I know he was in recovery still. His therapists came over and more or less filled it out for him, knowing how he does anyway. Brady increased in all areas, but mostly in gross motor, which is what I figured. He scores at 12 months in that bracket. As soon as he is standing he will score a bit higher. His other areas scored around that same number.

It wasn't too surprising where he landed, but I also see his determination as he attempts to walk by himself, his frustration when he can't communicate something, his interest in his face when he spots a toy he likes. I feel like we are on the cusp as he tries to move ahead. Before, none of this really interested him, or it appeared that way. He is responding to facial cues more, attempting to smile in my face. Something all the other WS kids have been doing, but not Brady.

I'm glad Brady has the friends he does - the two-year-olds who push him to do more, and the one-year-olds he can play with. I refuse to be sad my entire life watching Brady not be able to do things, so instead I make sure I know of ways he will succeed.

6 comments:

Ava Jewel Leilani said...

Kerry, I too use to want to strangers that Ava Jewel was a year younger just so I could stop hearing how small she was. I am glad Brady has so many friends. You have such a positive outlook!
Anna

Tes said...

Rock on Kerry, Brady is a true blessing!
hugs
Tes

Tammy said...

Kerry, I understand how you feel. Parker is one month older than Brady and still not walking or talking. The one thing I have realized is one takes for granted the milestones children make(myself included), but not with our WS kids. It's such an incredible celebration every new accomplishment they make. I will never forget each and every milestone Parker graces us with.

Nicole said...

Kerry,

Thanks for this post, you are awesome! I believe so much of life and what you experience is based on a conscious choice or decision. Just this morning I was feeling down in the dumps, just plain grouchy. I actually said outloud to myself, Is this the kind of day I want? Do I even want to hang around me? I changed my attitude and have had a great day!

Joanne said...

Kerry,
I love your hope and determination! it will carry you far. Brady is very lucky to have such a strong Mom in his corner.

My Scott will be 41 one week from today. (he is as anxious as a 4 year old waiting for his birthday!)

It still tears at my heart to hear unkind comments about him or feel he is being left out of many of life's opportunities. I have cried many a tear over my husband's loss of the chance of being a little league dad or to have a fishing partner.

However, it is (was) my sadness. Not Scott's. He is happy in his life - and if given the opportunity, he is willing to share his smiles and enthusiasm with all who open their worlds to him.

I'm getting old and "crotchity" and do not take rudeness as easily as I once did. When Scott was little, if anyone said or did anything to disrespect him, I would go to the side, out of sight, and cry my tears.

Lately, I have stood my ground. I will "politely" (if possible), confront rudeness to my child. Demand inclusion -if he wants it.

Most of all, just know that all of these changes will bother YOU much more than they will Brady. He will instinctively be drawn to those who accept and love him for being Brady --- and there will be many who will want him in their lives.

Do I wish things were different for Brady and my beloved Sawyer - of course. Anyone who does not see the perfect love - the joy these chldren contribute to those who give them a chance, have missed a wonderful opportunity to see pure joy!

As for the playing - things will change. Brady's interests will grow as he does. Not everyone wants to be a "jock" and that is okay. But for the future - check out to see if they have "Buddy Ball" in your community. We have HUNDREDS of children in our small town that play - baseball, volleyball, bowling- bocci ball. All ages - all with "buddy-helpers". Ability does not matter - we even have cheerleader who wave their "pom-poms" from their wheelchairs! And the best part - mom and dads can sit in the bleachers like "normal" parents and cheer on their athletes!

God Bless you on this adventure with Brady!

Joanne (in TN)

Julie said...

I have had the same problem within our family. Scott's sister had a baby 2 months after me and you can only imagine how fast he passed Noah up. Then Scott's cousins had kids a year later so this gave Noah some playmates closer to his developmental level. They are slowly passing him up. They are all so sweet with him though. You will see the stronger Brady becomes physically the more he will meet some of his milestones. At least that is what I noticed with Noah. Great picture by the way.