Thursday, August 28, 2008

What Not To Say

With only a few days left of summer vacation, I took the kids and Michael's friend to the movies this morning and lunch. At Subway I met the person who epitomises "What Not To Say".

I sat down at one table with Brady, feeding him yogurt, while Michael and his friend sat at the table next to me. One of the girls behind the counter had already commented how cute Brady was. She continued to stare at him wistfully.

"How old is he - 10 months?" she asked.

"He's two," I replied, although he's less than two months away from being three.

"Wow, he's small!" she exclaimed.

"Yeah, well..." I said.

"So, you have three boys?" she continued.

"No, I am just borrowing one of them," I joked.

"Two boys? So are you going to have any more?" she asked.

"Umm.. I don't know," I answered.

"Do you want to have a girl?" she asked, as if two boys was the same as having 10 boys.

"Umm... I don't know," I answered again.

"So, are you done having kids?" she asked, since I am 73 years old.

"Umm... I don't know," I answered again.

"Wow, he's really small for two," she reiterated.

At first, I was a bit irritated with the line of questioning, then I thought about the young girl asking me questions - probably 19 years old, friendly, smiling. Did she have any ideas that she was being a tad bit inconsiderate, rude and invasive? Probably not. Was she trying to make me feel bad? Nah... but I pity the day someone not as laid back as me is on the other end of her questions. I was actually smiling to myself by the end, in amazement that this conversation was actually taking place.


ange said...

You should go back and tell her that she's the subject of your latest blog entry!!
Like you say, probably clueless but definitely should be aware! So aggravating. Wish you had a "Wac-a-mole" mallet??

Kathleen said...

That reminds me of the endless number of people who used to stop me at the mall/grocery store/etc when the twins were babies. "So, do you breast feed them? How is it breast feeding twins?" "So, did you have fertility treatments to have them?" Excuse me, do I KNOW you??

camille said...

Oh man, that is not right. I'm hoping she's just 19 and nieve and has no idea what she's saying...although most people her age probably wouldn't go to that extreme asking all of those questions. Sigh.

Nicole said...

UGH, so frustrating!! I have found that responding with a "Why do you ask?" usually makes the questioning stop.

Penny said...

Yeah, I have had those questions. I usually am a smart-ass, just because I cannot help myself. Someone asked me how old Keith was once and I said 4 (he was 4 then) and then they proceeded to ask if there was something wrong wth him. I said, Is there something wrong with you?

They said, why do you ask? I responded, why do YOU ask? She shut up and left.

Typically, I find that if you trun their question back to a question towards them, they shut up and leave!

The good news is that it sounds like it didn't bother you. Good for you!

Heather said...

LOL! I have probably been on both ends of that conversation in my life time. I'm like you though, laid back for the most part. You just can't explain to everyone, especially if you can't get a word in edgewise :)

Nancy said...

Maybe someday she will be in our shoes. I envy her innocence, although I detest her lack of tact and ignorance. :)

Laura said...

Glad you were able to keep your sense of humor.
It never ceases to amaze me, the things that come out of peoples mouths.

Amy said...

You should of asked if she was 12 because she was acting like a inconsiderate, dopey kid.Stop being nice to people like her, they don't deserve your courtesy.

Michelle said...

I would chalk it up to immaturity and doesn't have a clue, but my goodness was she nosey!

Dawn said...

I feel your pain here. Most people are just trying to make small talk and mean no offense, but when they ask "is he walking yet?" etc. it gets annoying and awkward.

My fave comment when people hear he isn't walking is: "Be glad, because once he starts to walk he will be into everything!" as if he isn't already into everything and as if I want to be carrying around a 22 lb. toddler everywhere I go. Yeah, lady, I think it is just spiffy that my kid can't play with his peers at the playground or at the Children's Museum because they walk and he crawls.

As irritating as it is, people just don't realize what they are saying.