A friend of mine is pregnant - a bit surprising to her. She has a 16-year-old, a 13-year-old and an eight-year-old. Needless to say, not a stitching of baby anything is left in her house. She put the word out that she is looking for anything and everything. Coincidentally, my sister just bought a new house and is getting rid of things from the old one. One of the possessions was a crib. I spoke to my sister and her husband one day and said if it was still available I would take the crib for Marlena.
My always-funny-to-himself brother-in-law wondered if she was a good enough friend to lend the crib to. He jokingly asked, "Is she the type of friend who would come over and scrub your toilet for you?" (Assuming if I am sick or in the hospital or something... not just because it is cleaning day.)
Without thinking, I answered, "Yes." Then I stopped and thought about it. In his own funny way, my brother-in-law opened my eyes a bit. Just where is that line that deems a good friend?
I have friends whom I tell everything to; I have friends who do everything for me and vice versa; I have friends whom I work with on committees and clubs; I have friends whom I haven't talked to in years but I know I can call up in an instant if need be. At different stages in your life you also have different needs from your friends - you have the going-out friends, the shopping friends, the crafty friends, the confiding friends... maybe a mix for a few. Heck, if anything this blog has taught me is that I don't even have to meet people to have their friendship - I consider my blog pals "friends" too.
But now, with this "new" definition of friendship - "someone who would scrub your toilet for you" - maybe we need to rethink a couple of those people. After all, life is pretty short. We should spend our time with those who matter the most.
I believe I have a good number of people whom I think would scrub my toilet. I think they are the same people with whom I have been able to rely on over the years, especially this past year with Brady. They are the same people whose toilets I would also scrub, if need be.
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I also think this comes increasingly into focus the older you get. You start realizing how short life really is and you find you don't want to waste your time with some people. I know for me, there have been several people about whom I have thought, "I just don't have time for YOU."
You know, I have three toilets now, so anytime you want to come over....
I think you are a friend and If I lived next door you would be a friend too but I can promise you that I would NEVER scrub your toilet...I'll lend you Elsa does that count? I do not even scrub my own LOL...I know what you mean though :)
I am obsessed with clean toilets and love them when they sparkle.
Anytime, girlfriend!
That's a great way of thinking about it. I have to remember that, copy that, and write my own blog about it! ha ha ha...
I actually have scrubbed my friend's toilet for her. So I guess that means I'm a good friend!
That's so funny! I have, for a long time, differentiated my friends into two categories - those that I can call at 2 a.m. to come over because I have a crisis and those who definitely wouldn't appreciate my call. So next time your phone rings at an ungodly hour don't even bother checking the caller ID!!
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