Thursday, July 06, 2006

On a Quest...

I have been trying to figure out how to write about something that's been on my mind without it sounding cheesy or sad or obsessive. I have spoken to a few people about it, which has elicited blog entries, long conversations and pseudo-therapy sessions. Yes, we're talking about Brady not smiling yet.

It's silly, really. Why am I so obsessed??? I am grateful he is here in this world; I am grateful how well he is doing in general. It's like complaining about your husband not cleaning up after himself to your friend who is divorced from an abusive man. She's probably thinking, "Um, at least you're happy in your marriage." I KNOW things could be worse... yet, still here I am, thinking about it.

It's really because that's a SIGN... a sign he's happy, that he cares, that he's aware, so to speak. That he likes me! LOL It's a glimmer of hope from a year of doctor visits, and weight checks, and constantly working on things that come naturally to every other baby. It's the thought that, "yeah, well get through all this and manage."

I was able to write about this today because Brady's speech pathologist came this morning. She was very happy that his attention on a face lasted for over 20 seconds... she said this was the beginning. Smiles come from mimicking, as well as other sounds and facial gestures. If he is focusing now on faces, the smile is not too far behind. What a weight off my shoulders! Just knowing it may happen at some point with concrete evidence is enough to make me relax and go back to just enjoying this adorable little creature.


Aspen said...


It is okay to want smiles from your little man. Some days, a smile from Daven is the only thing that gets me through the day. So, I understand the desire and desperate need for that. To give you a time frame, Daven was (if I remember right) 5 or 6 months old before he gave a big smile consistently.

It will happen, I promise! And when it does, you will cherish every smile and giggle that he shares!


Nancy said...

Just think how much you will appreciate that smile when it comes. You already do, and it isn't here yet! Promise me you will write and tell me the day it happens. Waiting is agony...and I am so invested in waiting with you that I am sure I will scream for joy and do a happy dance when I get the news. Don't feel guilty for anything you are feeling, have every right to feel everything you feel.