Tuesday, October 23, 2007

How do you measure the seasons of your life?

I have become obsessed with the song "Seasons of Love" from Rent. It started out very innocent - I watched most of the movie on HBO one night. That opening, signature song though stuck with me and I have been playing it on YouTube to get the words straight in my head. (Plus I looked up the lyrics so I could follow along - I told you I'm obsessed!) I even have Michael asking about it ("Is that really how many minutes are in a year??").

We all have our own ways of measuring our life. Mine is pretty simple. Three subsets of when I was child, all based on the three different states I lived in. Then it was college, then miscellaneous four years of career-mindedness until marriage, then my current season - motherhood. I think I will be here awhile.

Even as a mother, though, I have my subsets -- having Michael, raising Michael in toddlerhood, getting pregnant, Brady... WHAM. Even though Brady is only two, his life is much more measured. There's the first stage -- being born, finding out he had heart problems, and waiting for a diagnosis. Second stage - getting the diagnosis and beginning his therapies and doctor appointments. Third stage - endless crusade of babyhood and trying to figure out his needs and what was best for him while he just laid around, and waiting for him to smile. I think we're in the Fourth stage - watching him advance and helping him grow. One day, I am sure, this will all be lumped into one season for Brady -- before he walked, after he spoke, etc.

With Michael, it's different. His seasons for me are babyhood, preschool, elementary school.... next year it will be middle school (yuck). Obviously as he gets older the seasons cover more ground... but his baby days were not like Brady's obviously. Brady's milestones are much more defined, most likely because Brady has to work so much harder to get them. Michael was such a happy baby and is such a happy kid - it has been all fun and games with him and such a joy. With Brady, there are so many frustrations and concerns... but when he does hit some certain milestone, it is rainbows and butterflies.

I suppose I have gone through my own seasons... my own growth of learning about Williams and living with the reality that this will always be a part of our lives. We are always going through that next season. And the way I measure the year seems to be based on Brady - "Well, it was after his hernia surgery but before his diagnosis", "It was when he used to sleep all morning".
I know next year when he turns three and enters preschool, we will start a new season. Everything may be old hat by then, and all lumped together.

But right now I am looking forward to entering the season of crawling and playing and eating REAL food... I know it is just around the corner.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

That was so beautifully written. Isn't funnny how we "chunk" our lives into sections like that. Enjoy having fun with Brady while he is still so little. He is beautiful.

Michelle
(your new blogger friend : )

Heather said...

Remember that old song, "Turn, Turn, Turn" ? Your post remindes me of that song. For every
change(?), there is a season...

Laura said...

That was so well said, and very true.

Julie said...

I think I seperate my seasons by age. 20', 30's etc. I feel like my 20's was a completely different person than I am now. I would be shaking my head at that girl saying "boy she isn't very smart" :)

Every minute counts.... said...

Thank you..I had totally forgotten that song. The second it started playing, it all came back to me :)

I too have many sections in my life and the divisions with Abi seem to be in smaller chunks too. It seems that there is so much to fit in with her that it just takes more space in the sections....
Thank you,
Noel

Tara said...

So true. I'd never heard that song before. I have noticed I chunk things together by "before diagnosis" "after diagnosis" "before she walked" "after she walked", etc. Some of those "seasons" are hard to look back on.

Aspen said...

I love love that song. And I know exactly what you are going through. I am desperate to graduate out of the baby phase and move on to the toddler phase 100% of the time. Some days I think Daven is great an really a toddler, other days...all I see is the fact that I can't speak to him or watch him walk. Only crawl and try to decipher cries. Some day...

Michelle said...

how interesting to think about the seasons of life; I think mine are probably broken up by where I was living since I moved around so much being in the military. And you're right about the subsets as well.

I imagine you're all getting pretty excited waiting for game time to start! I'm just glad I'm not on the East Coast and have to wait up so late for the end of the game! :)